Truth

Mood: Strange
Listing to : You spin me right round baby - Marilyn Manson
Drinking: Orange Juice.

I didn't go to work today, I didn't want to see my cohorts and answer their many questions on the law suit. Their all worried for their job's now, and their sketchy of me, thinking I'd tell Scott everything on everyone in our depratment.
Not gonna happen, as I already told you all.

The day was long, and annoying, I hate waiting.
Hayle told me he'd call and let me know the news on this whole mess when he heard from Scott, but I haven't heard anything.

I looked around my apparment from my spot of the sofa. The champine colored walls seemed to close in around me. The pictures on the walls of happier times, and the ones of Scott and I seemed to mock me.
Then there was the picture of Witter.
He and Coleman allowed me to take a picture of them together last year at a confrence we went to. I framed it and put it on my wall with all my other ones.
Looking at it brought a sharp crushing pain to my chest. Tears filled my eyes and I wrapped my arms around myself, and began to rock back and forth in my effort to fight back the tears and ignore the sufficating pain.
I've ruined his reputation (which wasn't that good to being with), and if he got convicted for MY mistake, then I've ruined him as a doctor.

I couldn't take this anymore. I pushed myself up off my couch, put on my black leather tailerd jacket (which I had from a few years ago, I used to have a drit bike) grabbed my car keys to my Volvo and ran out of my drak apprement.

The next thing I knew I was parked on the curb infront of Witters house.
I wanted to know what happend at work today.
I wanted to know more news on whats going on.
I wanted to see him.
I needed to see his face.

I knocked on his front door and the second I heard him get up, I became tense.
Maybe he didn't want to see me.
The nob tunred and I jumped a little.
His long face looked grim, he was on his cane and I could see the pain on his face. His knee much have been really hurting him.
He was wearing his baby blue button up cotton shirt, with his blue jeans and sketchers.
I gulped and grinned at him as best I could, tossing my brown hair over my shoulder (a nervous habit) "Hi Dr. Witter" I said.
He nodded at me, and move back from the door to let me in.
I shut the door behind me and he sat him self down in his relcining chair, twrilling his cane around in his fingers.

"And you're here because....?" he asked, staring at me with thoes icy blue eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you. I was wondering if you heard anymore on the law suit." I stood there, infront of his door, just looking at him. I still had my arms wrapped around myself.

"Nope" he sighed. "But I did hear from my lawyer. He wanted to know your side of the story. So you have two choice's. You can tell me, or you can tell him. I would suggest you tell me, you all think I'm mean, well I've got nothing on him. Which is why I hired him."

I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, just staring down at the floor.
How can I explane what I did to him, to make him understand?
He began thumping his cane on the floor, I looked up at him, and then like a flash of lighting it came to me.

"Have you ever wanted to save a patient so bad, that you'd do whatever it took to keep them from dying? Like not juts save them because its our job, but because you have an actual need to make sure they live?" I blutered out in a rush.

Something flashed in Witters eyes as he looked at me. He turned his head to the side slightly, his brown hair shone in the dim light of the lap next to him. He nodded at me, and I sighed smiling.
Thank god, this makes it so much easier.
I sat down on the couch oppisite him and began my explanation.

"There was something about that boy, Jagger, something I couldn't explane. He wasn't just another patient to me. He was a weak, sick child who needed me. He needed my help, my knowledge, my attention. I was so sure I knew what was wrong with him, and when I told his parents and they shot me down.. I got so ....mad! They were just going to let this poor boy die! I wasn't about to let him go with out a fight. So I did what I thought I had to. Slipping that form in that pile of useless papers." I looked down as I finished my loud, rushed explanation.

Witter leaned forward and rested his chin agianst his cane, his blue eyes drilling deep into my hazel ones.
"That is why I say never get attached to patients. " His voice was soft, he moved eyes away from mine.
He was hiding something.

"Tell me about yours." I whispered, leaning forward.
"About my what?" His brows pulled together.
"Your patient, the one you got to attached to."
He sighed, leaning back in his chair. His eyes suddenly became distant.
"You already know."
"How could I already know, you've never told me before."
His bright blue eyes shot back up to mine, as if I said something insulting.
"Because it was you."
My heart stopped, I felt the blood drain from my body.

"You, when you came into the hospital that night, after your accident and I was your doctor. My team thought for sure after just one look at you that you were going to die that night. But you were coherant, you knew everything that was going on around you. You knew what was wrong with you. You were shouting demands at me, telling me how to treat your injuries.
I knew right then you were a doctor.
After we got you stableized you began to fight with us again over every pain med and over every stitch. You wanted control over everything. You were a challange. "
He gave a short laugh, and looked down before contiueing.
"My team thought I was crazy, they all said you'd never recovers, and all we were doing was buying you some painful hours of life. But I wanted them to be wrong. I needed them to be wrong. So I didn't listen.
As you got better you began helping me with the choices which had to be made for your recovery. I knew as soon as you were well again I wanted you to work for me, but I couldn't fathom why.
You were annoying, demanding, all around a pain in the ass." He laughed once again and paused.

I saw the story unfold as he told it, remembering with all to much clarity the first time I saw the inside of that hospital.

"So anyway" he contined. "I went to Hayle, telling him he had to hire you. I didn't want you to leave. I told him I needed you on my team and that you were an assest to me and my department. He told me he'd concider hiring you as long as I put you threw the tests like I did with everyone else.
Which is why I was so hard on you. I wanted you to get this job, I needed you on my team. It wasn't until then I fgured out why." He stopped to look at me.

I sallowed hard, never have I heard this. Never has he opened up to anyone.

"I loved you." He sighed "I love you."

My breath was taken away from me. My jaw dropped, my eyes grew wide and I prayed to god that I didn't just imagine every word he said.
He shifted in his chair, but his eyes never left mine.
So many emotions filled me at once, I didn't know what to do.
I was so happy.
Sad
Angry
Worried.
I still couldn't breath, I was stuck. Nothing made sense. The here and now confused me. I came here to see him, never did I expect this.
Damn it! whats wrong with you? Talk to the man! Tell him you love him back! I scolded myself.

The quite lingered for a moment, still stuck in my daze. Greg was growing annoyed with my nonsencial oggeling.
"Damn it, Shannon! Say something" He gnarled.
I shook my head back and forth, I had to remind myself to breath.
"I love you too" I whispered.

His eye brows shot up to his hair line, and a sly grin appreaed on his face.
"I knew it" he laughed. "I knew you did."
"So? You're always right, why does that surpise you?" I grumbled, feeling self conceious.

"You must love me, if your willing to go to jail for me." He sighed. "But don't worry neither of us are going to jail. I have a good lawyer" his grin turned into a full blowin smile.

"Good, but I should go. It's late, we have work in the morning." I said standing. I went to walk by his chair when he stuck his cane out to stop me.
He stood up, standing infront of me. I looked at him, watching him, watching flashes of emtion play across his crystal clear eyes.
He traced my lips with his finger tips, leaned in and kissed me.
I went weak in the knees, nearly fainting, I kissed him back. My hands tangled in his hair, and I leaned havily against him.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, until I pulled away, gasping for breath.
"Okay, I really have to go. I'll see you bright and early in the morning, Greg." I felt a shock as I called him by his first name insted of "Witter"
He smiled, and kissed me one more time, gently.
"You have no idea how long i've wanted to do that." He played with a peice of my hair.
"I can guess" I smiled back and I brushed by him. "Love you Greg. G'night." I said and closed his door behind me.